Patience

There are things I’ve learnt along the way. Things I had once unlearnt.

I learnt an immeasurable amount of  patience. The kind of patience that never asks. The kind of patience that never wavers. But just is. See, somewhere along the line I acquainted myself with the question “and then what” where actions have reactions and before I act, I know there’ll be a reaction. How does this tie into patience? The kind of patience I learnt was always backed up with how I would react if I didn’t maintain the level thereof. This also led to trusting in the process, knowing that whatever will be will be.

My patience also owes is strength to the constant reminder to be still. To know and remember that where I am right now will only change if I move. That the stillness is actually a way of grounding myself. Letting myself go through it by going through it. It being whatever is happening and threatens my patience and peace.

My patience also is kind. It sees the silver lining and forgets the cloud in its entirety. No, really. I don’t believe in half doing anything. I’m not going to be patient and understanding but still “be ready” for the clouds to let out some rain that may lead to storms and disturb the core of this patience I had to learn, for my sanity. No. I need the kind of patience that is kind and patient.

My patience has its own inner peace. Inner peace. I struggle with that a lot. Like… does it mean being calm? With everything and everyone? Does it automatically kick in when things (life) goes into overdrive? Is it contagious? I’d really like to get answers to those questions. Some day.

If I could talk to my patience I’d ask it how it is able to keep zen through it all. How it is unwavering. Many have called it foolish, I am one of them.

3:16 AM

 

Out of place, out of space & time
Wide awake out of papers, I am
Not okay, I am out my mind
Outer space, that’s where
I’ve been going
To a place where
Place where nobody knows
Floating, at a pace where
Now you see me, and now you don’t

I do not feel the fear of falling
I wanna fly
If it all goes well, then I will
But what if I don’t?
I’ll be right where I was before
But I’m not alone
You say “take my hand”
And we go (and we go)
And we go (and we go)
And I hope that we don’t overdose
Cause we don’t (cause we don’t)
No we don’t (no we don’t)
Ever know when we have had enough

Wait
Now my thoughts so cloudy
And my heart’s so crowded
With pain
I am so frustrated
Like my soul’s been taken away
Broken promise of everything
That I thought you were
Thought you said this would never hurt
That’s what it did
That is all

I’m a be so cold
Need some more
I’ve never felt these things before
I’m a think, for sure
Please don’t go
How could you not need me no more?
I don’t get it
You’re the only thing that I love
You’re the only thing that I want
You’re the only reason
The only reason

I do not feel the fear of falling
I wanna fly
If it all goes well, then I will
But what if I don’t?
I’ll be right where I was before
You’re all that I know

– Jhene & I

Angels and Demons

This has nothing to do with the book by Dan Brown with the same title, a book I read in high school. Back when I had a hunger for the occult and peculiar . A book that launched me into the world of the Illuminati, not this stupid craze everyone has about famous people. A book I will never forget. One day when I start reviewing books on this platform, I will go into details.

This also has nothing to do with one of my new fragrances by Givenchy with the same name. Look at me, I am a name dropper. hiihihihihi! Shout out to the lover for the lovely gifts!

Okay. Now that I’ve said what this post is not about, how about I get to what it is really about? Yeah? Cool. Read on…

I believe in angels.

These are the people that God sends us. The people He puts in our lives to see us through. They are real people with real stories who are able to impact our lives and leave a mark. They are messengers of the truth, love and light. They are much like soulmate in that they define a before and an after and most times the before is always so blurry. They are the people that help us along the lessons that life is always so ready and willing to teach us. They are not perfect, in fact they are some of the most flawed of us all. Their true nature is seen only by those who want to see. They help those who are ready to be helped.
I love angels.

There are demons.

Now, I don’t think I am as confident in talking about them as I am with angels. This is a belief thing for me. But I will share what I know about them from the demons that I have had to either face or dodge. 🙂
Demons; don’t play nice with them. If you have any that you have claimed as your own and have decided to listen to everyone saying you should embrace them, let THEM play nice with each other.Do not play with them, this is time you will never regain. They are the voices that never have a good thing to say about anything really. They are not light, they do not resemble anything light. They don’t want you to win. RUN BABY RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In closing. Water the plants  you wish to see grow. Pay no mind to those that don’t serve you. Love your angels, nurture them, value them. The demons… send them angels.

Love & Laughter
❤

One Day

Home ❤

Blue Dream

My addiction. Love. Bet you didn’t know it was a drug.
Well… I will take the honor of being the first to break it to you. 🙂

Addiction: the state of being; infatuated with, obsessed with, in love with, devoted to something, but in my case – someone.

Infatuated.

We were coastin’ on the coast when you opened my eyes
Made me notice where the ocean was holding the sky, right.
I was blinded, your smile shining behind those green eyes
The horizon so enticing, please, say you’ll be mine

Obsessed.

Don’t wake me up cause I’m in love with all that you are
You make me see the truth in things, I think that you are
The remedy for everything it seems that you are
The truth itself ’cause nothing else can take me so far

In love.

My afternoon dream when
The world is speedin’
I am still sleepin’
In my blue dream and
I know the meaning
For all the seasons
You are the reason,
My love

Devoted.

My mind is open
So wide since you came inside
I feel so alive
Without you life just passes by, passes by, passes by

Please, please, don’t wake me up.

My afternoon dream when
The world is sleeping
I am still thinking
Of my blue dream
It’s bliss..

– Jhene and I ❤

 

“Limbo Limbo Limbo”

 

She was born in limbo
With the need to be as simple
As her makers and the made up things she dreamed
Falling from high buildings ’til she
Was numb to the feeling really
She would never be quite what she seemed
She was just as hollow as a
Earth opened up, swallowing her
Off the grid and into paradise, her whole life
On a ride, her whole life was on a ride, on a ride, life was on a ride

Sailing through the cosmic seas
Her celestial frequency was needed
To fulfill the prophecy
She was too real to believe in
Though if they would, she could free them
From the truth that they’ve been told a lie, their whole life
On a ride, your whole life was on a ride, on a ride
Life is on a ride, your whole life is on a ride
Your whole life is on a ride

– Jhene

Finding Happy

I have so much happy in me. All the time. I want to share it. With everyone. So much so that I keep to myself when I feel my happy slip away. And when it slips, I cry to and for it. Dear happy, please stay.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
– E. E Cummings

So  I have been having an interesting week. Interesting was not my first choice, but for the sake of all things light, interesting will do. It’s Thursday. I am experiencing so many different emotions all at once, none of them sound and feel like my happy. I want my happy. I need my happy. The essence of me is happy, I believe this with all my might!

Monday. So fucken tricky. The lunch I packed isn’t doing anything for me. I’m not hungry. Turn the volume of the sound of my happy way up. So high that anything that doesn’t share the sentiment of happy just cannot come in. It worked. I made it to Tuesday.

 

Tuesday. I cut the side of my lip on Monday, I don’t know how. It burns. I have hot chicken and spinach for lunch. It fucken burns. The day ends. I’m vibing with the lover. Our vibration is so high. I feel like this…

Wednesday. I get the results from the last assignments I submitted. I did so well. I am doing so well. I really want this degree, I am so happy. This feels right. This is a big deal. But maybe just for me. Someone sees it. One person sees it. They say: “Ma-ghel!!! ” this makes me smile.
Keep it moving. You’re doing great.
Your vibe with Friona is all the way up, this is beautiful. Notice the volume of happy turned all the way down, turn it up, it slips down, turn it up… taped it there. Tape doesn’t hold. Decision: fuck it. i’ll call another kind of happy…

Thursday. I pull out the brightest top I have, it should lift  me up. It doesn’t. I should pray. I want to pray. But what do I ask for? What do I want? I pray, I choke. All I hear is a mumbled whisper “I just want my happy”. I swallow a tear that never quite makes it to my tear ducts. I must do something. I buy myself a juicy chicken burger, chips and a fizzy drink and mute the “Believe in yourself Team” and the salads they are all sending photos of. I don’t care about healthy right now, I am chasing happy. I buy myself flowers. My heart claps.

My happy waves at me and mouths: “I am never in anyone else’s hands” 

If anyone is looking for me tell them to look out for the girl in the highlighter-coral top, with the large bouquet of flowers and a bulgy tummy filled with junk. A big smile on her face and a halo of happy around her burning soul.

 

“I’ve got you”

The three most powerful words after “I love you”

Okay maybe that’s just me. Those words, coming from a person you love and trust with your life, ARE EVERYTHING!!!!

Now, in a time of everything being “everything” please just trust that these words are really everything. Knowing that someone is on your team and wants you to win, everything. Knowing that you are not alone and should things not work out in any other part of your life, they’ve got you – everything. Knowing that someone has got your back through it all… every little thing!!!!!

I can live without a lot. I refuse to live without love.

Love and Laughter
XO

 

 

Staying Positive

My oh My. Where to even start with this?

Okay.

Positivity: the frequent experience of pleasant emotions.  Some of the most common are: joy, hope, gratitude, interest, serenity, pride, amusement, love, inspiration, and awe.

From that definition, being positive is a constant thing. Or a thing that is determined by consistency. Whichever makes sense. So it requires constant work. You have to consciously, actively and regularly PRACTICE positivity. This means calling yourself out when you see yourself drifting and heading the opposite direction. I do it all the time. I like that I can now spot it. It sometimes feels like a movie, where I am watching myself go off and wish at that same moment that I could physically pull myself away from myself. LOL! It is a real relationship, this that I have with myself and my thoughts.

This post has been a draft for the longest time. Everytime I sit to carry on where I left of the last time, I either get distracted or start editing what I typed previously. So I’m going to make sure I leave the old words as they are. And add more things, as and when they come to me.

I have cut out; news, tabloid, gossip etc.. I am subscribed to blogs, magazines, websites and forums that are in line with my vision of being a balanced and serene soul. Look, I am really loud and colourful, so maybe serene won’t happen. Much. But everything that I have implemented has helped me calm the fuck down when I have to. I can safely say what I’m doing, is working for ME and MINE. And I need to work on this Reality (TRASHY TV) that I binge on.

I think i’ll leave this here. I can always post another, maybe as a continuation or sequel? I know this is not everything I have learnt, or everything I will ever know. So yes, I shall chop and change. It is my blog, my rules. *allow these moments… power struggles are real*

In closing… I remember being so bitter that I watched a movie and always quoted a woman saying “bitterness is better left in someone else’s cup”
I now know better. Bitterness is not better in any shape, cup, size, or form. It must just be eliminated.

Toast to #growth

Love and Laughter
XO

 

 

Pretentious personalities

Why I call it instaglam…

I'klɛktik wallflowɛr

Every veil secretly desires to be lifted, except the veil of hypocrisy.

–Richard Garnett

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now and, after reading Lerato Tshabalala’s ‘The way I see it‘, I’m ready to discuss this issue. In the first chapter titled “A slip of the thumb…“, Lerato writes about social media and how much it has taken over our lives; she outlines a number of Pros and Cons but I will be focusing on one particular con.

This is not a review on the book but I’ve got to mention that the book has inspired me to write more honestly and fearlessly (write the way I speak)👌 and anyone that knows me personally knows that I have a potty mouth with zer0 filter lol.

So, let’s get straight into it. It’s no secret that a very large number of…

View original post 550 more words