Angels and Demons

This has nothing to do with the book by Dan Brown with the same title, a book I read in high school. Back when I had a hunger for the occult and peculiar . A book that launched me into the world of the Illuminati, not this stupid craze everyone has about famous people. A book I will never forget. One day when I start reviewing books on this platform, I will go into details.

This also has nothing to do with one of my new fragrances by Givenchy with the same name. Look at me, I am a name dropper. hiihihihihi! Shout out to the lover for the lovely gifts!

Okay. Now that I’ve said what this post is not about, how about I get to what it is really about? Yeah? Cool. Read on…

I believe in angels.

These are the people that God sends us. The people He puts in our lives to see us through. They are real people with real stories who are able to impact our lives and leave a mark. They are messengers of the truth, love and light. They are much like soulmate in that they define a before and an after and most times the before is always so blurry. They are the people that help us along the lessons that life is always so ready and willing to teach us. They are not perfect, in fact they are some of the most flawed of us all. Their true nature is seen only by those who want to see. They help those who are ready to be helped.
I love angels.

There are demons.

Now, I don’t think I am as confident in talking about them as I am with angels. This is a belief thing for me. But I will share what I know about them from the demons that I have had to either face or dodge. 🙂
Demons; don’t play nice with them. If you have any that you have claimed as your own and have decided to listen to everyone saying you should embrace them, let THEM play nice with each other.Do not play with them, this is time you will never regain. They are the voices that never have a good thing to say about anything really. They are not light, they do not resemble anything light. They don’t want you to win. RUN BABY RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In closing. Water the plants  you wish to see grow. Pay no mind to those that don’t serve you. Love your angels, nurture them, value them. The demons… send them angels.

Love & Laughter
❤

Finding Happy

I have so much happy in me. All the time. I want to share it. With everyone. So much so that I keep to myself when I feel my happy slip away. And when it slips, I cry to and for it. Dear happy, please stay.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
– E. E Cummings

So  I have been having an interesting week. Interesting was not my first choice, but for the sake of all things light, interesting will do. It’s Thursday. I am experiencing so many different emotions all at once, none of them sound and feel like my happy. I want my happy. I need my happy. The essence of me is happy, I believe this with all my might!

Monday. So fucken tricky. The lunch I packed isn’t doing anything for me. I’m not hungry. Turn the volume of the sound of my happy way up. So high that anything that doesn’t share the sentiment of happy just cannot come in. It worked. I made it to Tuesday.

 

Tuesday. I cut the side of my lip on Monday, I don’t know how. It burns. I have hot chicken and spinach for lunch. It fucken burns. The day ends. I’m vibing with the lover. Our vibration is so high. I feel like this…

Wednesday. I get the results from the last assignments I submitted. I did so well. I am doing so well. I really want this degree, I am so happy. This feels right. This is a big deal. But maybe just for me. Someone sees it. One person sees it. They say: “Ma-ghel!!! ” this makes me smile.
Keep it moving. You’re doing great.
Your vibe with Friona is all the way up, this is beautiful. Notice the volume of happy turned all the way down, turn it up, it slips down, turn it up… taped it there. Tape doesn’t hold. Decision: fuck it. i’ll call another kind of happy…

Thursday. I pull out the brightest top I have, it should lift  me up. It doesn’t. I should pray. I want to pray. But what do I ask for? What do I want? I pray, I choke. All I hear is a mumbled whisper “I just want my happy”. I swallow a tear that never quite makes it to my tear ducts. I must do something. I buy myself a juicy chicken burger, chips and a fizzy drink and mute the “Believe in yourself Team” and the salads they are all sending photos of. I don’t care about healthy right now, I am chasing happy. I buy myself flowers. My heart claps.

My happy waves at me and mouths: “I am never in anyone else’s hands” 

If anyone is looking for me tell them to look out for the girl in the highlighter-coral top, with the large bouquet of flowers and a bulgy tummy filled with junk. A big smile on her face and a halo of happy around her burning soul.

 

Staying Positive

My oh My. Where to even start with this?

Okay.

Positivity: the frequent experience of pleasant emotions.  Some of the most common are: joy, hope, gratitude, interest, serenity, pride, amusement, love, inspiration, and awe.

From that definition, being positive is a constant thing. Or a thing that is determined by consistency. Whichever makes sense. So it requires constant work. You have to consciously, actively and regularly PRACTICE positivity. This means calling yourself out when you see yourself drifting and heading the opposite direction. I do it all the time. I like that I can now spot it. It sometimes feels like a movie, where I am watching myself go off and wish at that same moment that I could physically pull myself away from myself. LOL! It is a real relationship, this that I have with myself and my thoughts.

This post has been a draft for the longest time. Everytime I sit to carry on where I left of the last time, I either get distracted or start editing what I typed previously. So I’m going to make sure I leave the old words as they are. And add more things, as and when they come to me.

I have cut out; news, tabloid, gossip etc.. I am subscribed to blogs, magazines, websites and forums that are in line with my vision of being a balanced and serene soul. Look, I am really loud and colourful, so maybe serene won’t happen. Much. But everything that I have implemented has helped me calm the fuck down when I have to. I can safely say what I’m doing, is working for ME and MINE. And I need to work on this Reality (TRASHY TV) that I binge on.

I think i’ll leave this here. I can always post another, maybe as a continuation or sequel? I know this is not everything I have learnt, or everything I will ever know. So yes, I shall chop and change. It is my blog, my rules. *allow these moments… power struggles are real*

In closing… I remember being so bitter that I watched a movie and always quoted a woman saying “bitterness is better left in someone else’s cup”
I now know better. Bitterness is not better in any shape, cup, size, or form. It must just be eliminated.

Toast to #growth

Love and Laughter
XO

 

 

How I committed to staying off Instagram.

I do a lot of crazy stuff. Okay maybe I’ve gotten better at fucking up. Wait, that doesn’t make much sense. Doesn’t it mean that I am fucking up more? Like, a better fuck upper or fucker up? My head’s spinning!!!

So I have gone and posted that I am taking a break from Instagram (MY BELOVED) {insert theatrics and shit here} and have left my followers, all 4 of them. LOL. I kid. I have some really loyal people on there. People who like even the most random of posts. And I post EVERYDAY. Okay maybe not so much over the weekend because I’m either sleeping, snogging or just not in the mood. I think that’s when I live. LOL.
But now I announced this which adds even more pressure coz I like, “legit” (I’m tryna sound hip) cannot go back on my word. So I have to stick to it. I have to not be on there. Posting shit. And liking shit. Which I do a lot. I like liking. And it never means more than that to me. It means I like your stuff. To ME it is “hey, I saw this post, I am acknowledging it and here is proof” And when I really really really love it, I will leave a comment. I’m going to miss that. I am going to miss my little community. As warped and deranged as that sounds. I am going to miss that little life. With everyone that I know is checking up/ in on me instead of picking up the phone and calling me. With everyone that never likes or comments OR EVEN FOLLOW (yes, that is really a thing and I have decided to call them ghost followers. I said this first OKAY!!!!) but can give me a rundown on my daily posts LOL!

My page was started from scratch.With minimal migration from my Facebook days and failed twitter life LOL!!!!! I promise, I had like 200+ twitter followers. It was ridiculous. Maybe one day I’ll try again. I hated talking to myself publicly – okay not so much when I was drunk and watching soppy films. hahahahah!!!
Insta has made it to 700+ and that’s pretty cool. I know I lost all the followers I had gained from my lingerie shoot. LOL! They found out that there is actually more depth to me. And that I like my clothes on. 😛

I really appreciate the few friends I have made and met on Instagram. The laughs and appreciation I received for my posts. The outlet it has been. Social media is a great platform. It is powerful and influential. It can open up a whole new world. Which it has for a loner such as myself.
I’d like my pages everywhere to leave a mark. To have an impact. On someone. If not everyone. Talk about ambition. I am a marketing student. It’s time I focused, I might learn a thing or two on promoting myself and my beliefs. LOL – thank you, thank you. That was my acceptance speech for the everything award.

I’m really going to miss Instagram. I’m going to be such a pest to my people. My poor poor lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😦

The truth is, I have lived a pretty open life. Open in the sense that I know a lot of people – yes, there was a time I used to love people a lot – and in the short space of time they’ve known me, they have experienced a lot of shit go down in my life. Stuff I would rather they didn’t see or know about me. I’ve been honest and very forthcoming about my struggles. And the world just wasn’t ready for that. It’s amazing how it is now only that people are “woke” to the okayness of not being okay. How everyone wants to share their deepest and darkest stories without being judged because it is “okay” and “hip” to do so. LOL this is already another post. And I digress!
I have been so caught up with being okay and making sure that it is obvious that the second I find myself having a moment of letting myself feel whatever is happening, I feel the need to snap out of it lest I be seen as that same old kid who “loves being sad” and being forced to unlearn everything I am and dishonouring my true-self for the sake of likes (in this case, being deemed cool). The reality is, I don’t want to be a robot. I am a feeler. And cannot apologize for that. I will not.

I am at a really good place.Probably the best I have known since my early teens. I am happy. I am free. I am light. I am in love. I am making love. I am getting the degree I’ve wanted for the longest time. And I do not want to cheapen the experience by trying to find photos that represent it. I have the words. But InstaGlam is not ready for this. So I shall type it all up here.

And now to finish this post off. With another commitment. hehehehehe… I am on a roll.
4 Blogs a week! #LETSGO
This is post #1