There are things I’ve learnt along the way. Things I had once unlearnt.
I learnt an immeasurable amount of  patience. The kind of patience that never asks. The kind of patience that never wavers. But just is. See, somewhere along the line I acquainted myself with the question “and then what” where actions have reactions and before I act, I know there’ll be a reaction. How does this tie into patience? The kind of patience I learnt was always backed up with how I would react if I didn’t maintain the level thereof. This also led to trusting in the process, knowing that whatever will be will be.
My patience also owes is strength to the constant reminder to be still. To know and remember that where I am right now will only change if I move. That the stillness is actually a way of grounding myself. Letting myself go through it by going through it. It being whatever is happening and threatens my patience and peace.
My patience also is kind. It sees the silver lining and forgets the cloud in its entirety. No, really. I don’t believe in half doing anything. I’m not going to be patient and understanding but still “be ready” for the clouds to let out some rain that may lead to storms and disturb the core of this patience I had to learn, for my sanity. No. I need the kind of patience that is kind and patient.
My patience has its own inner peace. Inner peace. I struggle with that a lot. Like… does it mean being calm? With everything and everyone? Does it automatically kick in when things (life) goes into overdrive? Is it contagious? I’d really like to get answers to those questions. Some day.
If I could talk to my patience I’d ask it how it is able to keep zen through it all. How it is unwavering. Many have called it foolish, I am one of them.
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